Ryan
Kendall is broken. He understands pain. He knows the hand of violence
and the ache of loss. He knows what it means to fail those who need
you. Being broken doesn’t stop him wanting the one thing he can’t
have; Finlay Tanner. Her smile is sweet and her future bright. She’s
the girl he grew up with, the girl he loves, the girl he protects
from the world, and from himself.
At
nineteen, Ryan leaves to join the Australian Army. After years of
training he becomes an elite SAS soldier and deploys to the
Afghanistan war. His patrol undertakes the most dangerous missions a
soldier can face. But no matter how far he runs, or how hard he
fights, his need for Finlay won’t let go.
Returning
home after six years, one look is all it takes to know he can’t
live without her. But sometimes love isn’t enough to heal what
hurts. Sometimes people like him can’t be fixed, and sometimes
people like Finlay deserve more than what’s left.
This
is a story about war and the cost of sacrifice. Where bonds are
formed, and friendships found. Where those who are strong, fall hard.
Where love is let go, heartache is born, and heroes are made. Where
one man learns that the hardest fight of all, is the fight to save
himself.
Later
that morning after their workout and shower, Jake fell asleep on the
couch. Feeling at a loss with nothing but time on his hands, Ryan
wandered down the hall towards Fin’s room. She was sitting at a
little study nook in the corner, laptop open with one foot resting on
her chair. She was wearing a tank top and a little pair of shorts.
Leaning up against the doorframe, he couldn’t tear his eyes away
from those long, delectable legs.
As
though sensing his presence, she turned in her chair. He forced his
eyes upwards, catching a sexy flush fill her cheeks at his blatant
perusal.
“Morning,
Ryan.” She took off her black framed reading glasses and tossed
them on the desk.
“Morning,
Fin,” he replied.
Against
his better judgement, Ryan pushed away from the door and walked
farther into the room. Fin hadn’t changed at all and neither had
his desire for her. His heart kicked over when she met his eyes. He
knew everything he was feeling right now was written all over him,
but he couldn’t seem to shut it off.
Her
eyelids fluttered closed and she whispered, “Why now?”
Ryan
took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly.
He
shouldn’t still be feeling this way after so many years. Why was he
doing this to her, and to himself? It was better for everyone if he
stayed away like he was supposed to.
“I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go stay at the barracks.” He
turned to leave.
“Ryan!”
she called out. Scrambling out of the chair, she grabbed his arm as
he was halfway out the door.
“Fin,”
he warned, looking down at her hand pointedly.
She
took a step closer and he breathed her in, her scent like jasmine on
a hot summer’s day. He was surprised when he looked into her eyes
and saw anger burning hotly in their depths.
“Six
years, Ryan. Do you know how hurt I was, each day passing by and
getting nothing—not even a note or an email? I didn’t just lose
you. I lost my brother too. Both of you left me, and I was okay with
that. I understood that this was what you needed to do, so I moved
on. I built a life that doesn’t include you. That was what I
had to do.” She paused and raised a shaky hand to cup his cheek.
“I’d have given you my entire heart if you’d only asked, but
it’s not yours now. It’s not yours.”
Ryan
closed his eyes, agony for losing what was never his rose in his
chest until he felt strangled by it. He placed his hand over hers,
holding it there until she tugged it away.
“You’re
right,” Fin told him. “You should stay on the barracks … but I
don’t want you to. Damn you, Ryan,” she whispered fiercely. “I
don’t want you to.”
Ryan
used his bulk to crowd her against the wall until there was no room
for her to move. Leaning one hand against the wall, he grabbed her
hip with the other. Her breathing rose rapidly and he leaned in,
ducking his head until their mouths hovered a mere breath apart.
“Why
can’t I force myself to leave?” He rested his forehead against
hers and closed his eyes. “I hurt too. For six years I fought every
day not to think of you, and I lost, because every day you were all I
could see. You were the best thing in my life—so sweet and
innocent, and so goddamn tempting.” His hand strayed from her hip
and slid down to grip her ass. He swallowed the groan. “I stayed
away so you could move
on.”
Kate
McCarthy grew up in a small town outside of Port Macquarie,
Australia. Raised in a house just a short walk to the beach, Kate
enjoyed the peaceful, relaxed atmosphere and friendships that come
from being raised in a friendly, small town area.She now resides in Brisbane, Australia, a city in the state of Queensland where she works as an accountant, along with a sideline wedding cake business and her writing.
She is married with two children, has two dogs and house in the suburbs, and a pile of friends and family dotted all over the country that help keep her sane.
When she’s not busy running after naughty kids, filthy dogs, crunching numbers, piping buttercream and writing books, you can find her curled up in bed in the early hours of the morning reading new books and re-reading old favourites. Her favourite books are the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward in which she longs to eventually join the brotherhood and change her name to Phierce Mutha.
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