And So She Waited by Shakuita Johnson

 This is not a story about love, but a story about how love can consume you. Heart, body, and soul. A story of loving someone so much that the love you feel harms you.

Have you ever loved someone so much, that before you realized it, they owned half of your soul?

Raven Sinclair’s first love had always been ballet until she met Remy Peters. She fell hard and she fell fast and never looked back. He was everything she always believed she wanted but he had other plans.

Remy Peters didn’t believe in love and he wasn’t looking for it. He just wanted to have a good time in between classes and swim team. He’s been seeing Raven for over a year and a half and he’s not sure how it’s lasted this long. It’s not like he’s made any commitments but when he stumbles on the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, he knows it’s time to let Raven go.

Matthew Masterson has loved Raven since he first saw her in ballet class when they were five. They have been best friends ever since and he’s not content to stay there. He sees Remy for who he really is and wastes no time in telling Raven every chance he gets but is Raven his happy ever after or does fate have other plans?

Love, lies, and obsession…three lives bound by twisted desires for what they can’t have.

I hate to say it, but I really did not enjoy And So She Waited. I’ve read a couple of Ms. Johnson’s paranormal novels before and enjoyed them even when I didn’t care for her characters’ behavior. So I was really looking forward to seeing what she did with “real people” as opposed to paranormal beings. Fortunately the author’s writing style is still one I like and is the main reason this falls under the “just okay” rating instead of the “I hated it” rating.

*****POTENTIAL SPOLIERS*****

There wasn’t a sane person in the story. At the beginning I felt a little bad for Raven as it did seem that Remy led her on, but the book really needed a scene or two of Remy and Raven together to understand why she was so attached. Both she and Matt said that Remy never took her out or introduced her to friends, so her “love” seemed unfounded. I say “love” because as the story unfolds it seems that Raven’s love is merely a switch from one obsession (ballet) to another (Remy). As I said, I felt kind of bad for her in the beginning but any empathy for her was lost as the story moved on and she continued to try to contact Remy as he ignored her for two months. This is why I say her “love” was not love, but obsession. This was even more evident once she learned she was pregnant and insisted on telling him, thinking it would bring him back to her. Can anyone say delusional?

And let me just say that Remy is no prize nor is he the picture of mental health either. I know men like him exist and it absolutely amazes me that women not only put up with his treatment, but they actually flock to him. I was absolutely stunned that Stacey talked to him the day after they hooked up and completely appalled that she continued to see him based on her responses during that sexual encounter. I read erotica and dark erotica and Remy’s sexual behaviors are abusive not kink. The night he got Raven pregnant his behavior walked a fine line with rape and had Raven not been so into him and accepted his physical treatment of her as an act of passion, it would have tipped the scales to rape because he was going to have sex with her whether she consented or not.

As for the other characters in the book – Casey and Stacey had no self-respect. I say this not because they both slept with Remy knowing he was with the other or even because all three ended up in bed together (a scene I’m glad the author didn’t elaborate on), but rather because they were aware of his mistreatment of Raven and themselves, yet continued to go back for more. Matt, yeah, his obsession with Raven only half as bad as hers was with Remy and I considered him the sanest person in the book, until the Epilogue. And I can even contemplate the parents’ behavior – it certainly gave credence to the phrase “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” and helps make their children’s behavior more understandable.

In addition to the author’s writing style being a positive, the way in which she presented Raven’s cutting scenes was so well done that the scenes addressing her cutting are the other main reason this book gets two stars instead of one. I am not a cutter, I have never been a cutter, nor will I ever be a cutter. But I have a cutter in my personal life and in my career I have worked with a couple of people who self-mutilate. So to see an author able to address this behavior in a way that is sensitive and realistic impresses me.

*****END OF SPOILERS – I think*****

For me, And So She Waited just did not work. For the most part, the book felt like one massive “wah-wah” pity party with a bit of violence and a whole lot of hate thrown in for good measure. Ultimately they were all bat shit crazy and the author’s writing skill was just not enough to rescue the book for me – even with the alternating points of view (which I love). As is my usual disclaimer when I give a book a low rating, check out the sample for yourself – because the book gets right into it, you should be able to decide whether or not it’s your kind of story.

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Shakuita Johnson is a 29-year-old Psychology major. When she isn't going to school or working, she is doing what she loves most. Writing. She started writing in middle school. Starting with poetry. Then short stories in a creative writing course her senior year. Her love for paranormal and supernatural started with R.L. Stine Goosebumps books and TV shows, Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles, and Christopher Pike books. She is an avid reader with over 100 books on her bookshelf and 1000 plus on her iPad. Visit her online and read her poems and one attempt at songwriting on her blog at http://www.dark-indiscretions.com. You can also find her atwww.facebook.com/shakuitajohnson. Check out her website at www.authorshakuitajohnson.com.

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