Mia Murphy may be married to
the man of her dreams. But the man in
her dreams is the one
that got away—her high school crush.
Mia’s stuck in a rut, just
like every other stay-at-home mom, and the only thing saving her from
her monotonous routine is her perfect husband, Declan. He’s
gorgeous, he adores her, and the man stole her heart with his sexy
singing voice. Mia feels like the luckiest girl in the world, until
she discovers that Mr. Perfect is not Mr. Faithful. Mia is
devastated. Everything she once believed about Declan and their
marriage is now covered in a big cloud of doubt and regret. On
impulse, she kicks the cheating bastard out, pushing them into a
separation that could mean the end of the picture-perfect couple.
But when Mia receives an
invitation to her high school reunion, she finds herself abandoning
the present for the oh-so-alluring pull of the past. Although her
heart still belongs to her husband, inescapable thoughts of her
crush, Noah, resurface. And ten years later, Noah isn’t afraid to
make his move. When the build-up of fantasies and ‘what ifs' comes
to a head, sparks fly and it’s Mia’s turn to question if her
marriage is everything she wants out of life. Searching for answers,
Mia dives head first into dating Noah, falling further away from her
husband and closer to her old flame.
But Declan’s not giving up
so easily. Mia is his one and only and he’s not about to let
another man win her heart.
It’s
not ‘til I get home, walk into my empty house, that the reality
starts to sink in. My husband had an affair. An affair.
Saying it over and over in my head doesn’t weaken its meaning. What
a dumb word to describe—this.
What he did. Affair
seems too formal, too politically correct, to encompass what it
really means. It’s bullshit! That’s what it is. Pure, heart
wrenching, holy-shit-this-is-not-happening-to-me bullshit!
How
will I tell my parents? My friends? The
girls.
This will devastate them. Am I going to be divorced at twenty-eight
years old? How did I miss the warning signs? What did I do to deserve
this?
I
collapse on the couch, already tired from the unremitting tears and
the questions popping up like microwave popcorn in my head. I cry so
hard my body shakes, trembling and convulsing. I run to the bathroom
because the sobs have lodged themselves in my throat, causing me to
gag and heave. I fall down to my knees in front of the toilet and
spew my guts up. I’ve had stomach flus, drunken wild nights, and
morning sickness, but vomit has never left my body this violently
before.
I
rest my head on the toilet, giving in to the self-inflicted mental
and physical beating I’ve just taken and I hear the sound of the
front door slam shut, followed by frantic footsteps.
“Mia,
baby? Mia? Where are you?”
If
I had the energy to get up and lock the door I would. I would lock
myself in here until the hurt and disbelief vanish, but there’s no
telling if and when that will ever happen.
A
few seconds later, Declan is at my side, rubbing my back. “Are you
okay?”
Yes,
Declan, I’m perfect. Just fucking peachy. “Get
the hell out. Leave me alone.” If only it were that simple. I
actually don’t want him to leave me alone. I never wanted him to
leave me alone, and ironically, now that he’s done the unthinkable,
that’s what I’m going to be – all alone.
Declan’s
crying now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry. It’s
unsettling, even if I want to see him hurt as badly as I’m hurting.
“Mia, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say, but I want to
talk to you about it. I need to make you understand.”
“Understand
what, Dec? You lied to me. You cheated on me. You…ruined our
marriage and our family…for one night with some…whore. I can’t
believe these words are coming out of my mouth. Why
Declan? I need…to understand…why?” The sobs distort my speech.
I can’t even get the words out without insufferable sniffling.
“There
is no explanation, Mia. But you’re not letting
me talk. It’s not what you think. I didn’t…”
“You
know what, spare me all the details and just get the hell out.”
“Mia…”
“GET
OUT!” I scream so loud my throat feels raw. “Get out, get out,
get out!” I can’t say it enough. I need him to leave. I can’t
hear one more word out of his mouth. The mouth that was mine, that
has now been all over someone else’s body. The thought disgusts me
so much I start to wretch again, spilling out more, emptying my body
to match the same empty feeling in my heart.
By
the time I’m finally done, Declan is nowhere to be found.
Faith Andrews lives in New
York where she is happily married to her high school sweetheart. They
have two beautiful daughters and a furry Yorkie son, Rocco. If she
isn’t listening to Mumford and Sons or busy being a Dance Mom, her
nose is in a book or her laptop. She’s a sucker for a happily ever
after and believes her characters are out there living one somewhere
. .
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