Title: Folds
in the Map: Stories of Life’s Unlikely Intersections
Author: Jeff Bauer
Publisher: Inciteful Press
Genre: Inspirational/Essay
Pages: 166
Language: English
Author: Jeff Bauer
Publisher: Inciteful Press
Genre: Inspirational/Essay
Pages: 166
Language: English
ISBN-10: 061589125X
ISBN-13: 978-0615891255
Folds in the Map is a
collection of essays and stories by emerging author Jeff Bauer. In these pages,
he embarks on an earnest, touching journey to discover the places where we feel
most connected as human beings – to each other, to nature, and to the world
around us. From the bottom of a bomb crater in Laos, to a refugee camp on the
Sudanese border, to the side of a Panamanian volcano, and back home again to
the frozen January streets of Minnesota, Folds in the Map is a moving,
intensely personal exploration of shared experience and unlikely intersection.
“Aflame” by Jeff Bauer
Over the past few weeks, the maple
down the street has changed from dingy, faded summer’s-end green to splendorous
burnt orange and crimson, like blood and fire against the azure autumn sky.
Every year it sparks in me a memory, or maybe something deeper than a memory;
an image emblazoned in the archives of my past, filed away but far from
forgotten.
There was a massive maple tree just
like this one on the winding avenue that led up the hill to the house where I
grew up. Every year it would ignite with the same impossible colors before
yielding its leaves to the unrelenting autumn winds. I biked past it hundreds
of times as a kid, returning from some friend’s house or some adventure deep in
the woods, then drove past it hundreds more as a teenager, coming back from
some keg-strewn bonfire in some gravel pit outside the city limits, racing to
get home before curfew.
It isn’t just the image that has
lingered with me, though, but all of the longing and turmoil spilling over at
every moment in those days. I used to wear an old canvas army surplus jacket in
the fall, full of rips and bloodstains and cigarette burns – each one
hard-earned. I walked its threads like tightropes, dancing while they frayed
beneath my feet. We were all so close to the edge back then and we wanted to
be – to see just how close we could come, how much we could feel, how much
beauty and pain and inspiration and heartbreak we could take.
I always felt those things the most
in the fall, when somehow the world dying all around made me feel like I was
being reborn.
But those flames have turned to
embers now, glowing faintly beneath the years and layers of habit and routine.
I’m not sure it’s possible to ever feel anything as intensely as we do when
we’re young – or if we do, maybe it’s us who can’t last. After all, we’ve
already said goodbye to some friends who tried to walk that edge for too long.
Last time I was back in the old
neighborhood, I saw that they had chopped that old maple down, removing the
last landmark by which I had tried to navigate my way back to the wild heart
that used to beat in my chest. I sat at the stop sign blinking slowly, trying
to make it reappear, until the honking of the cars behind me tore me from my
reverie. For a split second, I swear I could see its jagged outline in the rear
view mirror as I drove away.
This autumn is warmer and later than
it should be, with the leaves in my neighborhood just starting to change and
clinging tenaciously to the trees. All except the maple down the block, that
is. It hasn’t been willing to wait for the colder weather to set itself aflame.
It glows and burns like a personal protest against the slow death of winter it
knows will come far too soon.
Though I know it, too, I just can’t
seem to burn like that anymore. But I’ve still got those embers glowing
somewhere inside of me, and I’ve still got a chance…
Jeff
Bauer is a community organizer, public policy advocate, and writer based in
Saint Paul, MN. His blog, onlybiggerthinking.com, has been read by nearly 10,000
people from over 50 countries. Folds in the Map is his first book. In addition
to his work as a writer, Jeff recently lead a successful advocacy effort, in
his role as Director of Public Policy at The Family Partnership, to pass a
nation-leading Safe Harbor law in Minnesota to protect children from sex
trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation. He lives in a tiny house on St.
Paul’s West Side with his wife, Diane.
His
latest book is the inspirational/essay book, Foldsin the Map: Stories of Lifes Unlikely Intersections.
Visit
his blog at www.onlybiggerthinking.com
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