See The Light by Cassandra Carr

 

 Hockey player Jason Monroe lives a double life—star defenseman and soon-to-be Olympian on the ice and closeted gay man outside the rink. A serious relationship is out of the question, and Jason makes do with anonymous sex in barroom bathrooms, not willing to take the chance on coming out as gay in a decidedly macho sport.

Advisor to the US Olympic hockey team Patrick Parker knows a thing or two about being a professional hockey player who’s not out. He’s fifteen years older than Jason, and when he senses the sexy younger man is interested, he knows he shouldn’t give in to the attraction.

The two men can’t keep their hands off each other, though, and with each heated encounter it gets harder to hide their relationship. When their world blows up around them, forcing them into the limelight, though, will their love survive or be put on ice?

I just loved Jason and Patrick in this book.  Both are strong men who are involved in professional hockey, so they give off the manly vibe to the world, but they are also both gay and will soon fall in love.  See the Light is not just a book about two men falling in love; it chronicles the social stigma that homosexuals have to deal with not only in their jobs, but in sports, society and among friends.  

Patrick is now the coach to the US Hockey team after many years of being a pro player.  He wants to help Jason with his techniques on the US team but in the beginning he can’t figure out what Jason has against him.  He watches Jason with the other coaches and players and he is so relaxed and laughing but with Patrick he tenses up and is abrupt. 

Jason knows he is gay but he also knows he can’t let his team or the public know because it will kill his career as a hockey player.  On the road he is forced to either sneak out to a gay bar in whatever city he is in to get a quick fix, or suffer the night of going out with the guys pretending to enjoy lap dances with women. When confronted by Patrick about his attitude he is urgently trying to hide his attraction to Patrick while coming up with an excuse for his distance.

Once the truth was out between them things took off but they still weren’t easy.  Having to hide their feelings about each other through the Olympics wasn’t helping their game and things really took a bad turn when one of the Russian members spouted off about someone being gay.  After that events went fast and furious and a dramatic event over took Jason with fear and he was forced to decide if he was going to admit what Patrick meant to him.

I really loved this story because it is such a vivid image of what people go through in society to protect themselves from the opinions of others.  What should have been Jason and Patrick’s private business and their rights as humans was determined by the game and society.  We watch as they both find the courage in their love for each other to come out and we see how they are treated by the team.  I really recommend this book to anyone.  The message in this story will stay with me for a long time.