Bang by E.K. Blair

 They say when you take revenge against another you lose a part of your innocence.
But I’m not innocent.
I haven’t been for a very long time.
My innocence was stolen from me. Taken was the life I was supposed to have. The soul I was born with. The ruby heart embedded in a life full of hopes and dreams.

Gone.
Vanished.

I never even had a choice.
I mourn that life. Mourn the what-ifs.
Until now.
I’m ready to take back what was always meant to be mine.

But every plan has a fatal flaw. Sometimes it’s the heart.

**Due to the dark and explicit nature of this book, it is recommended for mature audiences only as some scenes may be particularly disturbing.**

I finished this book over 24 hours ago and I am still thinking about it.  There was no way I could write a review instantly after I turned the last page, I was left in a book hangover and confused.  I was telling a friend while I was almost half way in, this had a four rating, unless she took me on an unexpected ride of a life time towards the end.  Well I did get that ride and the rating went to a five. 

There is just no way to give you a normal review without risking spoilers so I am going to give you my impression of the players in this game and how I felt about the ending.  The first player is Nina.  At the age of five she is taken into state custody when her father is arrested.  She goes through many foster homes until she lands at the worst one yet.  With the threat that this is her last chance she tries to make this one work.  She has a foster brother Pike who is a few years older than her.  They bond because they really only have each other in this world.  The foster parents in this house are not even fit to own a dog, but they aren’t checked on often so the kids have to stay there.  Nina is now an adult and she is married to the rich and successful Bennett who really loves her, yet she is numb towards him unless she is feeling hate.  She has a plan for revenge but we don’t know what that plan is or who it is aimed at till the end of the book.

Pike, the foster brother, promised her he would come back for her when he left the foster home.  He kept that promise and now is an adult living in a worn down trailer.  He is the only person who can fill her with numbness and take away the pain that her nightmares and memories cause.  He is also part of this plan.    It is clear to the reader that she is more than a sister to him, he loves her and he is patiently waiting for her to pull the trigger on this plan and get them both out of there.  He does some pretty unspeakable things to her just to keep her plot going but you could tell he feels horrible afterwards and tries to comfort her when she will allow him.  I got the impression that as long as she needed him he would be ok.

Bennett, Nina’s husband, is a good man.  He is very busy at work but always makes time to call her or spend time with her.  He enjoys her spitfire ways and brings her purple flowers because he believes that is her favorite color.  He has no clue that she hates him; she is that good of an actress.  While he feels his sex life is perfect, he has no idea that she is totally numb while doing the act.  He is so clueless as to who he is married to, he doesn’t even know that Nina isn’t her real name.

Declan comes into the story early.  As the owner to a huge business that Nina will be using for a social event she is throwing, they become close.  He wants her from the moment he saw her, she plays hard to get because she isn’t capable of loving a man, she only sees a way to seek her revenge. She hates him because he can be manipulated so well by her looks and charm, but then that was good for her to achieve her goal.  As time goes on she believes she has found her loaded gun with Declan and the plan she has been nursing for years begins.  Declan is a strong and dominant man with a protective streak in him a mile wide.  He has a crappy relationship with his dad and a butt load of baggage from his past that makes him even more determined to protect what he loves. 

So those are the players and the game is WILD.  Once we find out what she is seeking revenge for and who she is after you are on the edge of your seat for the rest of the book.  What use to be black is now white, what use to make sense now is a confusing mess.  The ending left me gasping for air as I couldn’t believe how karma played the upper hand.  According to the title it gives me the impression that there will be another book in this Lotus series, but I have no clue where she is going to go after that ending.  I can’t say it was a cliff hanger, but I do know I need more.  I have too many questions with no answers, yet I am not sure I can even formulate the questions.  I will be watching for sure to see where this story is going to go next.  It was by far one of the most twisted, conniving and breath taking books I have read in a very long time.  If you like being mind…..well you know what comes next…..then this is certainly the book for you.  I am still in book hangover.  

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